It should be required listening for every father.

I’m talking about Harry Chapin’s song, “Cat’s in the Cradle.”

I can’t listen to Chapin’s 1974 hit song — even today with my son and daughter out of the house — without doing a gut check. Was I good father? Was I there when my kids needed me? And finally, how will my children treat me when I look to them later in their lives for their time and love?

The song talks about a father who was too busy to be there when his son is born, too busy to play catch when he gets older. It’s about a dad too preoccupied with himself to be there for all of his kid’s important moments in childhood.

All along the boy, who looks up to his father, is saying, “I’m going to be like you, Dad.”

Time and time again the boy accepts his father’s apologies and promises to get together later — when life isn’t so busy.

As the boy gets older, the father decides he wants to spend more time with him, but it’s too late. The boy comes home from college and his major concern is not relating what he’s learning and experiencing in school. He wants to borrow the old man’s car keys so he can spend time with his friends.

And later when the boy moves away, marries and has children, the retired father’s request to get together with his son falls on deaf ears.

“I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time. You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu, but it’s been sure nice talking to you, Dad,” the son says.
And as the Dad hangs up the phone, there’s a grim realization: “He’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.”

There’s no written formula, or time-proven percentage of time that you should dedicate to your kids.

All I can say is that my early years as a newspaper editor saw me working ungodly hours. My memories of my son and daughter during their early childhood years are scant. I can’t tell you the number of times I came home and found them both asleep. I felt guilty about it.

As they got older, though, I was able to find the time. I coached both my kids in soccer, attended many of my son’s Boy Scout getaways with his troop. I tried to make as many musical concerts as I could. I went to their sports events and did my time as the boys and girls varsity soccer booster club president. And when my son graduated from high school, he and I went on a 7-day fishing trip to Canada.

The job of being a newspaper man at times can be an eye-opener in the sense that you’re often reporting on other people’s tragedies and misfortunes.  I can’t tell you how often I came home over the past 30 years and hugged my wife and kids after hearing about some horrific accident.

And somewhere along the line I made it a point to tell them every chance I could that I loved them. Still do.

So, what’s my advice?

Listen to Chapin’s tune,  or at least Google it, and read the lyrics.  If you’re that father in the song, sit down today and figure how you can “find the time.” Now.

Otherwise, before you know it, those precious, special years will be gone and your child might turn out just like you.